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Marriage Saving
By OnTopic | May 24, 2010
Saving Marriage Requires Work
Both you and your partner have to be ready to work hard to mend the pieces of your damaged relationship and understand that it will take both time and effort. The last thing you want is for your marriage to fall into a deeper mess than it is already. If it’s really necessary, you may have to be the bigger person and take the first step, although you believe you aren’t the one who is wrong. Sacrifices should be made if you want to reach your marriage saving goals. No one ever said that saving a marriage is simple.
Saving Marriage Means “Stop Complaining”
Complaining can be just as aggravating as nagging. You may not realize this, but constant complaining to your partner is also implying that they’re doing something wrong. You cannot force someone to change. Know that every genuine change comes from within. If there are things you want your partner to change, they need to realize this for themselves.
You can alienate your spouse more by trying to pressure him into changing when he isn’t ready or forcing him to believe something he doesn’t believe in. The continuous badgering will make your partner feel as though you don’t appreciate them for the unique person they are.
You can help promote change in your partner simply by positively encouraging their efforts when you see effort being made. You know change doesn’t happen overnight but you are delighted by the effort. Affirmative reinforcement is much more effective than verbal attack.
If you are the one who is constantly receiving criticism and complaints, try to take a different road than you usually do. Keep yourself from being defensive and protesting. Instead, try listening to your partner and try to understand the reasons they are complaining.
You should try and hear what your spouse is trying to tell you. You want them to know you are making a sincere and honest effort to see it from their side for a change. Marriage saving is not an easy task, especially if you feel you are the one in the right but you must prove to your spouse that you are going to do whatever is necessary to save your marriage.
You may be unable to foresee the positive things that may result by learning to communicate with your partner properly. Even if you don’t end up seeing “eye-to-eye”, your partner is going to appreciate your honest efforts in trying to understand their wants and needs.
Final marriage saving tip: Be tolerant and encouraging to one another and realize that saving your marriage will certainly take time. You will get frustrated some days and other days will be easier but all you can do is take it one day at a time. Don’t concern yourself with little things and avoid pointless conflicts. Keep the bigger picture, the outcome, always in your mind and heart. Prove your intent through your actions because talk is cheap.
For more on how to manage marriage crisis => Marriage is in Trouble or Marriage Troubles
Topics: Writing And Speaking | 3 Comments »
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